Five weeks ago an owner and CEO of a medium-sized company was desperate. A few of his managers (especially two of them) were getting on his nerves. He couldn’t rely on them, they were defensive, not showing up as motivated team leaders and the list went on. Whatever my client tried so far didn’t work. He was pretending for a while this will resolve by itself, but things only got worse.
He hired me to teach him how to get comfortable having important conversations in his business. He was not enjoying his own business any more. It was draining him.
On our first coaching session
he asked me to take away this heavy burden off his shoulders and do whatever magic I do with those two managers and coach them separately, one-on-one. We would start with their coaching after the high season. He was happy, and I was happy too.
During each of the sessions, I had with the client we discussed one situation he had with those managers. He was opened to recognise the conversation dynamic with them and was able to see from a different perspective how his own actions contributed to the tension. I helped him understand why things were not working well for them. He was eager to learn a more useful (and respectful) communication approach. He was diligent and did the homework. So quickly the rewarding results showed up.
He managed to lead the conversations with those managers with ease. The work was done on time, and the managers were actively searching for solutions with him and implemented them right away- as their own. Both managers felt heard and appreciated as the client was now able to recognise and show them how important they are to the whole company and its success.
By mastering those conversations so well, my client got himself three benefits:
1. the company became a place of joy: Before the projects would often be delayed and things over there were just not working. Now the company’s projects run smoothly, thanks to his leadership conversations.
2. he can now focus on his zone of genius = leadership: Before he would not discuss delicate issues with the right people in the right way and it was exhausting. Now he has the time to look at things from the big picture, preparing the strategies to make his company excellent, coming up with new products and above all making decisions. ‘I’m now excited to go to work’, he said.
3. he now has more time to enjoy the success: Before he would get away from the stressful work to find himself thinking about it 24/7. Now he takes time away with his family without worrying about the business.
There’s also a fourth thing: he saved his marriage. The way they have conversations now connected them more than ever. He told me he now finally gets her (after they’ve been together for 25 years, having three kids).
All this looks like a huge success my client reached because of our work together, right? He was happy, and I was happy. So why wouldn’t he want for me to coach his two managers? Here is why.
Four sessions later I ask the client when do I start coaching his two managers. So he says: ‘Simona, actually it looks like they don’t need a coach any more. You have taught me how I can talk to them! They have changed their behaviour for 180 degrees after I talked to them ‘your way’. They are happy, and I am happy too.’
He was happy, his two managers were happy, and I was happy. You wonder why I was happy?
Not because I didn’t get to coach those two managers 🙂 I was happy because witnessing a client go from a drowning leader to an elevated leader makes me feel grateful, fulfilled and proud (of him and me). So I am happy because he will spread this conversation method further – to his coworkers, his business partner, his wife and kids. That makes this world a bit more harmonious.
I’m still coaching that client. He is aware it is not enough to have one conversation with my support. We need to have powerful conversations each day, especially if we’re leaders. He wants to become a master of conversations, to practice until it all becomes his second nature so that he can do it by himself at any time anywhere. This is what I call the real power of a modern leader.
Not getting those two new clients might sound like my loss. However, from another perspective, it is a triple win. (Did I mention I love new perspectives and win-win solutions?). I’m on a mission to help more leaders get elevated, so we can together make a huge impact in how people consciously create harmonious relationships in business or private life.
I know that every movement starts with one person who joins. There are more and more leaders joining. Are you too? Click this link and let’s have a chat to see how I can support you.